Staffing shortages, supply chain woes strain Santa’s workshop

As with many other global businesses, Santa’s workshop is struggling to remain productive and competitive in the face of staffing shortages and supply chain issues. Santa’s biggest headache at the moment is that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) hasn’t yet approved any of the available COVID-19 vaccines for elves. With his entire production crew unable to comply with the workshop’s vaccination mandate, the North Pole leader has been wondering how he can assemble and deliver presents for everyone on the nice list.

Grinch offers subcontracting option

In response to the staffing shortage, Santa recently received a call from the Grinch, who offered to provide all of the gifts needed on Christmas Eve. Santa asked the Grinch how he planned to pull off the feat with so little time left. “You don’t need to worry about that,” replied the Grinch. “And it’s best if you don’t. Let’s just say I have a very specialized method for procuring Christmas presents.”

After negotiating a very modest price for the Grinch’s services, Santa asked him how he could afford to be so generous. “I guess I just have a big heart,” the Grinch explained with a creepy sort of a laugh as he hung up the phone.

Though a bit unnerved by the exchange, Santa decided he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

Frosty requests vaccine exemption

With the gift sourcing problems now suddenly resolved, Santa summoned Frosty the Snowman to his office and asked, “Frosty, I understand you are claiming a medical exemption from our vaccine mandate?”