Letter to Santa from HR

To: Santa

From: North Pole Human Resources & Staffing Department

Re: Holiday Season 2022

Date: T-minus 25 until Christmas

I’m writing in response to your recently expressed concerns regarding the upcoming holiday season.

Mailroom

As you noted in your letter, in addition to the normal annual relocations, a vast number of children have relocated due to the pandemic and recent wars. And, as you know, after last year’s T-minus 1 debacle due to the pandemic, our address division was unable to find many children’s new addresses.

So this year, we’re correcting three years’ worth of unreliable data. Our address division has been working nonstop to update the addresses of all children. The systems for the mailroom and address division have been coordinated, so return addresses on letters to Santa (from the mailroom) will now be reflected in the address division’s files.

Really, this update was long overdue, but you know how trolls are (all demands and no action), and they’re our only tech-savvy contractors. Fortunately, they accepted a substantial number of chocolate coins, and it’s been taken care of. Frankly, I think they were just bored and wanted to engage in some extortion-like negotiations! This will make it significantly easier to track children’s addresses in future years.

Overtime pay

One issue that has come up from this extra work is that mailroom employees are claiming their job duties have shifted so significantly that their job titles and pay should be reevaluated.