Learn when to say 'no' and better way to say 'yes'

The reader might identify with this dilemma: You’re asked to take on a project, give a speech, or just lend a hand to a colleague. We’re socialized to cooperate, so our default answer is usually, “Of course, glad to lend a hand.” But should we? Do we risk taking on too much? How do we go about managing the situation so it doesn’t manage us? An article in the September 2020 issue of Harvard Business Review, “Learn When to Say No . . . and How to Say Yes” by Bruce Tulgan, offers some helpful tips.

Actionable framework

Answering a request for help requires forethought, not an ad hoc reaction, Tulgan convincingly argues. Our reaction is generally to be agreeable. And sure, some requests don’t need to be analyzed in any detail: What is the new IT person’s phone extension? What requisition form do I use for overseas travel? Or, what is a typical contribution to the company fund to help coworkers affected by a natural disaster?

No, Tulgan’s focus is on big-ticket items (or what could turn into one). His advice is to “assess the ask” by which you turn the request into a proposal. Here are the questions to pose: