HR’s holiday wish 2021

’Twas the holiday season, 2021, When workers’ home “offices” geared up for fun.

Our Zoom backgrounds we decked with holiday cheer; Funny sweaters we wore; through our cameras we peered.

This holiday party, it’s BYOE; We’re mailing out prizes for “jolliest on screen.”

No matter how rowdy, no matter how tipsy, This holiday party, no one needs a taxi.

No unwanted groping, horseplay, exposed briefs; Work parties from home are . . . actually pretty sweet.

Thank good gravy, too; HR needs a break; With COVID-19, so much is at stake!

Can we make them get tested? Can we make them take shots? Two free tiny jabs doesn’t seem like a lot!

“Have you had a fever?” “Have you had a cough?” “Will you please stop taking your freaking mask off?!”

Requests for exemptions; are they sincere? Or reflective of attitudes too cavalier?

Can we pay out a bonus if they get a vaccine? Or extra days off for postvax relaxing?

Hang on a minute, what’s that you say? Now we have to write vax-or-test mandates?

Who pays for the tests? Who ensures their content? OSHA wants an A+, 100%!

Thank goodness for the company’s EAP; Deep breaths as I’ve dialed (and dialed) attorneys.

“It depends,” they all say. “We’re just not sure yet.” Their choir of maybes is making me fret.

This whole situation makes me want to bawl. Can I get a straight answer to any question at all?

Well, yes, I decided. I can answer one: Can we safely throw a great celebration?

So tonight, we gathered through computer screens, Joyful we had at least these means